- Off Day -

WEll , i suppost today should be my happy day but my friend just ruined it , it as suppost to be a christmas treat and party and my friend is not free , one said that she is busy working , another said that she already have appointment and can't go out with me tonite so i just refuse to go alone . and i can't think of someone to go with me , and it should be someone i trusted the most and i really close with but she just go back to her hometown today til 14th , that's suck ......i think i have been spending my off day alone and my other friend just invite me to her party next wednesday and it's suck i can't come coz i gotta work ....and i have to join those senior adult for those celebration * started to yawn for boring* Just plain boring ~ ! Well one of the reason , i'm not in there for the party because it's weird to see me alone and go there and being alone in that party , i 'm not really compatible with them anyway and i try to fit in but i still feel that i don't belong in that group ....i don't want to pretend , i just really sick of being alone ; it's not like i wanted to now , i really need some companion , someone i can share my feeling , neither i'm happy or sad , someone i can really trusted , too bad she's not really a christian , my dear collegue though. It's seem really weird that we just really close in such a short time , just like how i get so close with those friend , honestly i kind of get angry with them , is it because i get refuse to go out with them , i actually still hope they don't join those kind of group that help to earn money , i kind of regret follow them and kind of dissapointed with them , still regret and dissapointed , even though i don't show it , i 'm so dissapointed that time when i found out that they just cheated on me .

But i'm glad that i have some great collegue but still some i don't really fit in certain thing . Oh and i just watch " A Christmas Carol " ,it's really great and certain part is scary in a way . i wish i can watch with my friend just like when i was in my college day , watching with my classmate was great , although i always prefer to be alone but now i feel that being alone is boring , plain boring . I wish i can talk to someone else and hide it , i feel that when i need them , they not always there for me , or maybe it's just me that feel that way .