It's been so long since when did i updated my freaking blog ? i have been sound so freaking frustrating lately maybe because of my angst ....i feel like i'm a angst teenager rather than a adult ...i feel like i'm 17 or 18 ....not 21 or 22 soon to be ....What's wrong with me ? i dun feel like grown up or someone treat me like i'm not a grownup.....i actually hate that , growing up need to struggle a lot of thing , even if i'm already 21 i feel that i still trying to find a place in this world , in this real world where fairy tale dun exist and no one treat u nicely , u have to deal a lot of problem with ur own , u feel so insecure when problem strike u m u dunno the solution no one guide u , u cried out but no one lent a hand on u , u feel so helpless , u feel that no one is worth trusting , someone dislike u , they diss u because u dunno nothing , they scold u for being childish , for being rebel , for being sturborn , this is what life is , what if i dun wanna accept that this is what life is ........i'm trying to find a place that i belong to , where do i belong to ? did i forgotten something ? did i give up trying ? Did i want to continue study ?
Endless question strike me , and i dunno what's the answer , i feel like i 'm far far away from god , because i went too far away from him , i feel like i want to make all of this stop or go slowly , find a job or continue study ? when i read those newspaper those classified thing , i feel so tired and sick of it ...clerk clerk , designer ....arghhh.....frustrating , have to do those interview thingy again ....i dun think i want to be art teacher to children , i dunno , i'm not scared now i think i know what i want but not sure what i capable of ....my drawing suck , my artwork suck in my opnion .....i wish i can complete that painting one day , freelancer ...maybe
( i always forget what i wanna blog ....great ...! i feel so tired of the same routine .....)
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